No More Sweatpants!

Or hiding at home.  Or devouring the container of caramels I hid in the cabinet.  For the past 3.5 years, I have been in denial.  I don't look that bad.  These pants hide it.  Or worse:  I just don't care anymore.  It's so hard when you are so down on yourself that you see giving up as a viable option.  

I want to make a commitment to myself.  This time I will do it.  One of my biggest problems is that I want a quick fix.  All or nothing.  So I starve myself (I'm being "good") and by the end of the afternoon/day/week, my ravenous appetite takes over and I wonder why I often fail.  No more.  My relationship with food and body image has been less than healthy for too long.  So often I wonder:  why can't I eat like a normal person?  Not be consumed with the "good food" and "bad food" everyday all day?

And so I begin again.  I've done this weight loss thing before (3 or 4 times?) and I'll do it again.  Age makes it slower, but determination will be my guide.  So will this blog.  Everyday I am inspired by blogs and IGers like Fab Chick Gets Fit and Skinny Meg and now I am actually going to do something about it. My goals now are simple:  to feel better about myself.  In time, I hope to add to that.  Maybe a half marathon or back into Crossfit.  Right now, I need to take it day by day.

Currently, I'm reviewing my diet option.  Food is my weakness.  I'll let you know what I come up with.  I'm planning to start the Dr. Oz 2 week detox diet tomorrow.  I've done paleo, WW, Dukan, starvation...  Anyway I'll work out.

I am using this blog to keep myself accountable.  I'll post pictures (god help me) and weight and inches.  This is real.  In additional, I'll post on my other addictions like shopping and beauty.  

That's all for now!

Saturday and a pretty nail polish

We are so thankful to the men and women who helped capture the last bombing suspect.  We breathed easier last night once it happened.  Loved seeing Boston out and cheering afterwards!  

Onto lighter and happier things...

This morning I woke up and decided to get to the gym early.  An injury has sidelined my half marathon training and I finally received the doctor's ok to run a mile.  So I decided to go to spin class, run a mile (and it went pretty well, yay!) and do another spin class.  After burning 1246 calories, I felt pretty good.  Then I made the mistake of weighing myself before I showered.  I was up 2 pounds.  It's probably all the salt I ingested yesterday.  My husband and I went out for sushi (and a glass of wine!) last night.

Last week, I received a new Dior nail polish.  It's called Diablotine and it's part of the new collection.  Can I say love at first sight?  Dior has some of the best polishes out there.  This is no exception.  Two coats and it's a stunner.  Since I don't go for manicures, I treat myself to my favorite polish colors.

It has a beautiful shimmer to it.  Love!

Off to hang out with my kids!

The Ugly Truth

The Ugly Truth

Do you ever keep a secret?  Even from yourself?  I have.  For a while now.

I've been wearing sweatpants for the past 2.5 years.  Yes, they are very comfortable.  And almost chic.  Ha ha.  I've been wear sweats because my pants don't fit and I refuse to buy a bigger size.  I refuse to acknowledge how far and how much I've let myself go.

Less than a year after my second child was born, I was nearly back down to fighting weight.  Working out is a love of mine.  One of my favorite things to do.  Something happened.  My baby was great, but my two year old was an awful mess.  Lots of issues.  I ended up going on some medication.  I wanted to stop being so upset and crying all the time.  And I did feel better.  Until one night, I found myself standing in the kitchen at 1AM eating a jar of peanut butter.  

The pounds added onto my frame.  My pants got tight.  Soon enough, I found myself wearing my maternity sweat pants all the time.  

I'm still wearing them.

Right now I'm working to get back to the jeans piled in my closet.

Protein is helping me get there.  More on that later.

1st Post!

First Blog Post

So I've finally joined the bandwagon and started a blog.  I'm a SAHM to two crazy boys (3 and 6) stuck in the Midwest.  Currently, I'm on a weight loss journey.  I'm always obsessed with fashion although I always wear sweat pants, make up and pretty shiny things.

I've been fat and thin and normal and back to fat again.  During my first pregnancy, I gained 65 pounds.  Surprisingly, my baby only weighted 8 so the rest stayed.  I worked hard to get it off
(that's what she said) and ran my first half marathon.  After my second child was born, I also lost the
weight by eating well and exercising.  However, we had several issues with my oldest.  Turns out he has ADHD.  Long story short, I went on some anti-depressant meds and gained 20 pounds.  Then we moved to the suburbs and I gained 10 more.  I currently trying to lose all of them.

Blogs like SkinnyMeg  have inspired me to become a lemming and blog.  I'm so five years ago.

Nice to meet you.

Midwestern Mama